Fear is unholy. Fear is a liar. Fear is a belief in a horrible something that hasn’t even happened. We give in to fear –take over our thoughts and rob us of our Hope. The opposite of fear is Hope. And the reminder of Hope is the best gift I can leave my son. If Patrick has nothing else, he still has Hope. I still have Hope.
Family
I’m Still Here
I am a researcher; I know the statistics. There is currently no cure for stage 4 cancer. One minute ago, I had a 5-year survival rate of 72% and now I have a 5-year survival rate of 22%. And, the median survival rate of a woman with stage 4 breast cancer is only 3 years. Only three years! All I can think is that I will statistically be dead within three to five years. On August 8 I was healthy and whole and on August 31st I received a death sentence.
Comes the Peace
Every. Single. Day. I fail, sometimes spectacularly in some aspects; and yet I am STILL HERE on this planet for the reasons only He knows, to give, to surrender more and more - my health, my relationships, my career, all my plans, my goals, my entire life… everything I have. And only after I do that, comes the Peace.
Those Hibernating Bears
My bilateral mastectomy surgery went well according to the surgeon. There are few complications except for the large, hard and uncomfortable remaining hematomas, and this annoying stupid drain that still bleeds red after five weeks. My post-surgery pathology report revealed three, small tumors containing a small percent of cancer cells that didn’t light up in my January 2019 PET.
Joy, Faith, Hope, Love, Peace & Rock Bottom
This was the week of Rock Bottom, so there’s no place to go, except up. After last week’s chemotherapy on Thursday, I developed debilitating weakness, dizziness, and shortness of breath. I am extremely weak and oxygen deprived because my red blood cell count is low, and therefore, the oxygen in my blood is also low. …
Organic Cancer and Whataburger
My Momma is cracking up herself up in my kitchen. “Organic mustard?” “Why does your mustard need to be organic?”” Momma is staying here with me because we are meeting with the Liver Specialist later this afternoon, the brilliant MD who will advise us on how he believes that I best need to navigate and … Continue reading Organic Cancer and Whataburger
Life In Introspection 