Fear is unholy. Fear is a liar. Fear is a belief in a horrible something that hasn’t even happened. We give in to fear –take over our thoughts and rob us of our Hope. The opposite of fear is Hope. And the reminder of Hope is the best gift I can leave my son. If Patrick has nothing else, he still has Hope. I still have Hope.
Peace
I’m Still Here
I am a researcher; I know the statistics. There is currently no cure for stage 4 cancer. One minute ago, I had a 5-year survival rate of 72% and now I have a 5-year survival rate of 22%. And, the median survival rate of a woman with stage 4 breast cancer is only 3 years. Only three years! All I can think is that I will statistically be dead within three to five years. On August 8 I was healthy and whole and on August 31st I received a death sentence.
Comes the Peace
Every. Single. Day. I fail, sometimes spectacularly in some aspects; and yet I am STILL HERE on this planet for the reasons only He knows, to give, to surrender more and more - my health, my relationships, my career, all my plans, my goals, my entire life… everything I have. And only after I do that, comes the Peace.
My Heart is filled with Thanksgiving and Joy
2019 is starting off to be a blessed and joyous year! My heart is filled with thanksgiving and joy. 2018 was a tough year. Really, really tough. The shocking and devastating stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis, and then going through arduous chemotherapy sessions and the aftermath are the most difficult struggles I have experienced in my … Continue reading My Heart is filled with Thanksgiving and Joy
Joy, Faith, Hope, Love, Peace & Rock Bottom
This was the week of Rock Bottom, so there’s no place to go, except up. After last week’s chemotherapy on Thursday, I developed debilitating weakness, dizziness, and shortness of breath. I am extremely weak and oxygen deprived because my red blood cell count is low, and therefore, the oxygen in my blood is also low. …
Gratitude in Suffering
Suffering and Gratitude Today was the first of the next four Taxol chemotherapy sessions I will have over the next eight weeks. The first four A/C chemotherapy sessions have been emotionally, physically and spiritually grueling. Three weeks ago after my third A/C, I contracted severe illness and complications including toxic granulation, anisocytosis, macrocytosis, stomatocytes and … Continue reading Gratitude in Suffering
Life In Introspection 